"Just do stuff and you'll meet people"
I come across comments like that all the time. "Oh, just find a new hobby to meet people" or similar suggestions of how to meet people. Today, based on some 4chan greentext I found on reddit (r/shitpost, mind you) and without taking such stuff at face value, I'm gonna "debunk" the main ideas people give lonely people like myself to meet people, mainly in a romantic way, not that much for friendships.
Note: this is from my perspective as a cishet male, your mileage kilometrage may vary.
Ask women out on dates
Ask random strangers out of the blue? And look like some sort of creep? No thanks. Even if it's people I do know, no thanks, for the reasons explained below.
Sign up for a dating app
Yeah... zero matches, and lowered self-esteem. The chances are rigged against men, especially when they are ugly.
Also, visiting dating apps (the most popular in my country are Tinder and Bumble) is a similar unidirectional experience as visiting LinkedIn Jobs: you send out your résumé (or like, in dating apps) and never get any sort of feedback, unless the stars align, and I get one response, that either ignores me after 2-3 messages or doesn't even bother interacting with me.
So yeah, f* it.
Hang out at the bar and talk to women
I don't think this is popular in my country, and unless it's late at night (and I'm not too fond of "going out") I don't think interacting with random strangers at a bar is all that good of an idea. Also, look point 1.
Go to church and meet a religious girl
I'm an atheist.
Ask women at work out for a coffee date
Nope. Work people are work people. The following things can happen:
- You ask them out and it's weird ever after.
- You ask them out, they say yes and then it's awkward if it doesn't go well.
- You ask them out, they say yes, you go out and goes well. Something starts and eventually ends. Weird afterwards.
- You ask them out, they say yes, you go out and goes well. Something starts, lasts long. Either you or them have to switch jobs eventually because of company policy or whatever. Someone has to make a compromise, they have to look for a job (and it sucks) and things can get messy at any point.
Also: risk people looking at me like a creep? Naaah.
Get a hobby where you can meet new women
Maybe it's a hobby I do enjoy, in which case I won't risk making the hobby "weird" for me after a rejection. Or it's something I don't like, so I'm just wasting my time doing something I don't like for the slight chance I meet someone.
What would I tell them then? "Hey, remember we met at X? Yeah, turns out I was there only to meet people like you, not because I enjoyed X, I'm not really into it". Also, I imagine women wouldn't like some guy approaching them and asking them out while they are enjoying some activity. Hello, human resources?
Ask your friends if they know any single women
Nope. They don't. I don't have many friends either but that's a whole different topic.
Make friends with women and see if things progress into a relationship
Well, isn't this the same kind of con as participating in hobbies I dislike just for the sake of meeting women? Becoming friends with people is already hard enough for me, I don't want to "waste" a friendship just asking someone out.
Shit can get messy, and then would I not only look like a creep of sorts, but I'd also lose a friend which f*ing sucks.